


Ship of the Line - Leviathan Jr.

by Feynor



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Farscape, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen, Humor, YAHF
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-26
Updated: 2013-10-26
Packaged: 2017-12-30 13:55:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 19,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1019418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feynor/pseuds/Feynor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>YAHF. Xander and Co. dresses up for Halloween, Dawn dresses to match. Things will never be quite the same again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the characters.  
>  _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ is owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy Productions, 20th Century Fox Television and others.  
>  _Stargate SG-1_ is owned by MGM Television, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Film Corp.  
>  _Farscape_ is owned by The Jim Henson Company.

## Chapter 1

*Xander*

“Mrph mmmr mph...”

*Xaaandeerrr*

“Mmr mom, just another ten please,” he mumbled almost incoherently.

…

*XANDER!!*

“Gaah!, I’m up, I’m up,” Xander jolted to full consciousness, then it hit him. Several things did actually, the most immediate thing being the bottom of the table he apparently had been lying under. Then, “Dawn??”

*Finally, I’ve been trying to wake you up for the past twenty minutes.*

“Oww, what happened?” he muttered, eyes still squinting from the bright light coming from all around him. “What time is it?”

*It’s just after 9PM. We have a problem here Xander, a _REALLY_ , big problem,*

“What kind of problem?”

*Look out the window.*

He did. He was met with the most beautiful sight any human can hope to ever see. There, hanging in the midst of perfect darkness was the blazingly brilliant blue, white and green marble all humans called...home.

Of course as a frantic 16 year old having just been woken up, his vocabulary at the time was somewhat reduced to a fast paced, and repetitive string of “Oh Crap! Oh Crap! Oh Crap! Oh Crap!...”

*XANDER, SNAP OUT OF IT!*

“Sorry,” he tried to calm himself, and started to look around. “Uhm, Dawn, where are you, and why am I standing on the bridge of Talyn?”

*It’s Dawn.*

“What is?”

*It is not Talyn, I’m Dawn.*

It took a few seconds before Xander realized what he had just been told, and started to feel quite dizzy. He grabbed a hold of a console to steady himself. All things considered no one could find fault in him backsliding to the same repetitive vocabulary he had been using so proficiently moments before. “Oh Crap! Oh Crap! Oh Crap! Oh Crap!...”

*Xander, please, you are not the only one freaking out here!*

“You are a living spaceship?”

*Yes.*

“Dawnie, is... a spaceship,” not so much a question as a statement.

*Yes!* she sounded slightly annoyed.

“Dawnie, Buffy’s little sister is a spaceship?”

*...* had Xander been more attentive, he would have recognized the silence for what it was.

“Buffy, the Vampire Slayers’... little sister, is, a, _SPACESHIP?_ ” It didn’t help him grasp the reality of it any more than before, but repeating fact seemed to help, a little.

*Xander...*

“I am SO dead when Buffy find me,” he had wanted to dress as John Crichton, but the costume had already been taken, so he went as Bialar Crais instead. Somehow Dawn had gotten wind of it, and in her twelve year old mind though it would be sweet to go as Crais’ other half, Talyn, so using costume bits from the same shop, she and her mother had managed to build a passable Talyn costume for her.

*Buffy the WHAT?* Dawn interrupted Xanders flashback, quite loudly actually. Xander had started to think that having her in his head, without a volume button would be a problem he’d have to look into. Soon.

“Ehh, what what?”

*You said Buffy the _VAMPIRE_ Slayer?*

“I did?”

He had the distinct feeling that had Dawn been standing in front of him, she’d be looking really unhappy, arms crossed in front of her, and tapping a foot, impatiently.

“I did. I thought you knew.”

*Well, I didn’t. Now spill!*

Xander spent the next ten to fifteen minutes telling Dawn all about the past year and a half, after she and her family had moved to Sunnydale.

After having finished, he started to receive a warm feeling across his link that could best be described as a hug. Then the feeling started to ... “DAWN! Stop!”

*Why?*

“For starters, you are just twelve.”

*But...*

“No ‘buts’ Dawn. Please respect that. To me you are still a twelve year old girl,” he said firmly. “And we are going to figure this out.”

He got the distinct feeling that Dawn, the spaceship was pouting. *Ok.*

“Is there any way you can contact Buffy, Willow or Giles?”

*...*

“Dawn?”

*Yeah, yeah, hold your horses. I’m looking.*

* * *

It was a few minutes later when Dawn finally came back, *I think I got it. Who do you want to try first?*

“I think Giles might be our best choice. I’m not looking forward to explain this to Buffy,” he replied, finishing the sentence muttering, “At least not without a battalion as a backup.”

*Dialing*

[Hello, Giles speaking.]

“Hi Giles, it’s Xander. I have  a few questions if you don’t mind.”

[Sure, just a moment, I’ll be putting you on speakers.]

“Uhm, who else is there?”

[Just Willow, Giles and me,] he heard Buffy shout in the background.

[Xander, where are you,] Giles asked, [we were worried when we couldn’t find you after the spell ended.]

“What spell? What the hell happened tonight?”

Girls went into the details about the evening. How Willow and Jonathan Levinson had met up with Buffy, her having lost her powers, and brought her to safety, all the way up to Giles busting the statue of Janus, ending the spell and returning everyone to their old selves.

[Xander, where are you?] Giles finished repeating his previous question.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” Xander started to explain, “Right now I’m inside Dawn, Buffy’s sister...” was about as far as he got before he heard a gasp from the other end of the connection. There was a dreadful cold running down his spine, and he went over what he had just said. “Oh sh...”

[You are inside _WHO?_ ] Buffy yelled loud enough to overload the microphone in the library telephone, reducing the rest of her sentence to unintelligible scratching noises in his earpiece.

*Giggles.*

[Dawn, is that you?] Buffy asked after having calmed down a bit.

*It is.*

[Are you ok? If he touched you in...]

*Calm down sis, you do _not_ get to SLAY him.*

“Buffy, it’s not what you obviously think it is. I’m _standing_ inside Dawn,” Xander felt he needed to defuse the situation before Buffy had signed his death warrant.

[Standing?] Giles broke in, [How?]

“Dawn dressed as a space ship, and I as the … commander of that spaceship,” he replied.

[That big ugly red and black thing?] Buffy asked incredulously, [That was supposed to be a spaceship?]

*Hey! I am _NOT_ ugly, and my gun is BIGGER than your … STAKE!*

“Girls, girls, please quit the sibling rivalry,” Xander begged, “At least till I’m not in the middle of it.”

[What do you mean stake? I don’t have a stake.]

*Xander told me _all_ about it,* Dawn replied, dragging out the word all in a sing-song voice.

[...]

The bickering continued for quite a while. Xander sat down, face in his palms, trying to remember if there was anything on board he could use to kill himself.

[ **SILENCE!** ] Finally Willow had enough as well, and asserted her self.

[Thank you Willow,] Giles and Xander said at the same time.

Giles continued. [Let me get this straight. Dawn dressed as a spaceship, and now she IS that spaceship, and Xander is standing on-board her?]

“Correct.”

[And you are … where?]

“Orbiting Earth, I’m looking at the Pacific Ocean and the US western coastline now,” Xander replied.

[Oh dear!] Giles replied after a few moments, Xander could practically hear him polishing his glasses.

“So, how do we fix this?”

[I have no idea, this is unprecedented.]

Buffy didn’t take that too well [Well, there must be something you can do. How am I going to tell mom that my sister is floating in space, with Xander inside her?]

“Please don’t involve me Buffy,” Xander started, “she’ll skin me alive.”

*Xander, I’m receiving a signal you might want to hear.*

“Please, not now Dawn, this is important.”

[I agree, we need to focus on this problem, before someone finds out,] Giles agreed.

*It is a little too late for that.*

“Why?”

Dawn sent the signal to the loudspeakers on the bridge.

_// Attention unknown ship, this is General George Hammond of the SGC, you are inside Terran territory, please state your intentions. Attention unknown shi... //_ the signal was cut off by Dawn.

[Oh dear!]

“Oh Crap! Oh Crap! Oh Crap! Oh Crap!...”

*Funny,* Dawn thought, *It seems that a repetitive vocabulary is the order of the day.*


	2. Chapter 2

## Chapter 2

Xander finally managed to collect his thoughts, “Uhm...Dawn?”

*Yes Xander?*

“Run?”

*Where?*

“How about behind the moon? They can’t possibly find us there.”

Dawn turned around and flew towards the moon at full speed. It merely took a few minutes to get there.

*Now what?*

[Xander, Are you still there?] came Giles voice over the loudspeakers.

“We are here, we just ran away, a little.” Xander replied.

[We heard that.]

“What do we do? And what on Earth is this ‘SGC’?”

*More important, why are they talking as if they represent the Earth?*

[Dawn,] came Buffy’s shout from the background, [Wasn’t Talyn a boy?]

*Eh...why?*

Suddenly Xander had trouble finding his footing, as Dawn, the Spaceship starting flipping end over end. Fast, while twisting and turning almost randomly.

“DAAAAAWN!!!” he screamed. At as manly an octave as he could muster.

The ship stabilized, *What?*

“What are you doing?”

*Uhm..I’m...looking for …* The bridge heated up a few degrees.

“I don’t think a Levithan have visible boy or girl bits you can just bend over ands see, Dawn. Not that you can actually bend any more.”

Apparently the evening had gotten the better of Buffy and Willow, who after Dawn’s admission, could be heard laughing hysterically.

“Giles?”

[Sorry, the girls are a little... incapacitated right now.]

Then Giles joined them, collapsing on the floor, helpless.

Xander just sat down, in resignation, and began contemplating his lot in life. He looked up at the ceiling, “Why? What did I do to deserve this?”

* * *

After a while, when the noise from the library had quieted down, Xander decided that doing nothing was not very productive. “Giles, meet me at the foot of Kingman’s Bluff in about thirty minutes. I’m coming down.

He pressed the comm button to end the call. “Dawn, please behave, and once I’m down, if anyone approaches the transport pod, please take control and return it to orbit.”

*Ok, but be back soon.*

“I will, if your sister or mother don’t kill me first.”

*Well, I dare them to try, and if they do, I’ll just… umpf* That is about as far as she got, as they were both looking in horror at the cannon blast she had accidentally let off at the word ‘umpf’.

Finally it looked like it just barely missed the planet. “Phew! Please, don’t do that again Dawn.”

*Sorry.*

* * *

Xander had finally managed to get to the pod bay, and had taken one of the transport pods out, and was approaching Earth, when he caught a glimpse of the MIR space station. ‘Odd,’ he thought, ‘I don't recall it having any half length solar arrays. I better ask Willow about that, she’ll know,’ and continued towards Sunnydale.

* * *

It was only minutes later when he stepped out of the transport pod. Giles were nowhere to be seen, but his car could be heard approaching.

Giles arrived almost five minutes later, and waved Xander into his car. He took in the obvious changes in Xander’s appearance. If anything, he looked a little older, and his bearing was straighter. Almost military.

They drove for a few minutes before Xander asked, “How are the girls? Buffy dressed as a noble woman, and Willow as a Ghost, you mentioned they both became their costumes, I guess theirs weren’t permanent.”

“There is nothing permanent as far as I could tell,” Giles answered, “Buffy didn’t pick up any new manners, and Willow is solid, once again.”

* * *

They arrived at the High school, and Xander had barely entered the library before being bowled over by Buffy and Willow. “Thank god you are ok,” they both repeated, over and over again.

*Hey, don’t I get any thanks for that?* Xander heard Dawn’s voice in his head. He groaned, as if in great pain.

“Xander, are you alright? Did we hurt you?” Buffy suddenly apologized, while she and Willow crawled off him, allowing him to get back on his feet.

“No, not really. I just found out I can still talk to Dawn,” he replied while pointing at the transducer sitting in his neck.

*Uhm, Xander?*

“Yes Dawn?” he answered, while looking at the ceiling demonstrably.

*You know those people who called us before?*

He was getting a bad feeling about this, “I remember.”

*They are back. I think they are upset about something.*

“What makes you think that?”

*Listen,* and she patched the audio through to Xanders transducer.

_// Attention Unknown ship. This is General George Hammond of the SGC. Please cease hostilities, the station you fired upon is an unarmed research station. Attention Unknown ship. This is General...//_

Dawn cut off the transmission.

Xander walked over to the table, sat down, and slammed his head into the surface, mumbling repeatedly, “What have I done to deserve this?”

The other people in the room looked at Xander, wondering and worrying.


	3. Chapter 3

## Chapter 3

Willow walked over to Xander, who was still bumping his head into the table, muttering, “What did I do to deserve this?” Following every bump.

“What's wrong?” She asked.

Xander looked at her. “Dawn, that's what.” He lowered his head back onto the table. At least he had stopped bumping it repeatedly.

Buffy knew her sister very well, yet she had to know. “What did she do...this time?”

“You know how she like to stomp her feet when she want to make a point?”

“Yeah...”

“She stomped.” Xander said, “Unfortunately that now comes with a cannon. She apparently shot Mir, accidentally.”

“Dawn shot Mir?” Willow asked, “Our Dawn, killed _Peace?_ ”

Xander and Buffy was now staring at Willow. “What are you talking about?” They said, at the same time.

“Uhm, sorry. Mir is Russian for Peace, she killed it.”

“Not quite, yet. She merely winged it. They will need some new solar panels though,” Xander clarified.

*And maybe some new underwear.*

Xander groaned. “Dawn, please.”

“What did she say this time?” Buffy wanted to know.

“Bad joke. She just proved to me, that your Quip-Fu isn't a genetic trait.”

*Hey!*...*Ehh...Oops!*

“What?” Xander asked, dreading the worst.

*Uhm...Nothing.*

“Buffy, if Dawn says ‘Ehh...Oops!’, followed by ‘Uhm...Nothing’, should I be worried?”

“Dawn!” Buffy all but yelled.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Xander said, while rubbing the ear facing Buffy, trying to get rid of the ringing.

...

Xander shook his head, “No answer.”

“Dawn, answer me this instant!” Buffy said, sternly.

...

“Still no answer,” Xander replied. “Let me try something.”

Xander closed his eyes, concentrating on the link. “Odd, communication with Dawn seems to take longer every second I try,” he muttered. His eyes snapped open. “Dawn, come back here, right this instant!” He snapped.

*No.*

“What is she doing?” Buffy demanded.

“I’m not sure, but I think she’s hiding behind Mars...”

“Why would she...Oh,” Buffy replied.

“'Oh? I know that tone, Buffy, what, ‘Oh’?”

“If she did something bad, and want to delay the fallout. She sometimes hides,” Buffy explained, “The more trouble she thinks she’s in, the better she hides. She’s surprisingly good at it too.”

“And she ran to Mars? I'm not even sure I want to know,” Xander went back to the table, sat down, put his head on the table, folding his arms around his head, and was heard muttering, “Why me?”

Buffy looked at Willow, whispering, “Somehow, I'm not sure my mother is the biggest of his problems right now.”

Xander groaned. “Please, Buffy.”

“Why wouldn't I be the biggest of his problems?” came an all too familiar voice from the library entrance.

* * *

“Talk to me!” Hammond demanded as he stormed into the control room.

“Sir,” Carter started. “We have no idea what just happened. We registered the same energy pulse as the one that destroyed MIR’s solar arrays, and this time it hit something up there.”

“What did it hit, this time?”

“We don’t know, sir. NORAD tracks all satellites. They didn’t know about this one until it was destroyed. It did transmit a few milliseconds of data, which we picked up.”

“And?” Hammond was getting a little tired of that odd little spaceship.

“We think the codes had an NID signature. But it can’t be, the NID isn’t supposed to have anything up there.”

“Burry it, if they lost a covert satellite, they can complain about it. If they dare.” Hammond started to leave the control room, before turning to Sam, smiling. “Remind me to send that ship a gift.”

Suddenly Hammond was a little less tired of that odd little spaceship.


	4. Chapter 4

## Chapter 4

“Mom? What are you doing here?” Buffy whirled around, stunned that her mother had managed to enter the library without anyone noticing.

“What am I doing here? What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be looking for your sister?” Joyce snapped back.

Buffy just looked at her mother, letting the biting remark slide, she was clearly strung out, obviously worrying about her missing daughter.

“Why are you all just sitting here for, and why would I be the least of Xander’s troubles?” Joyce looked around the people in the library, finally noticing the look on Xander’s face. “Xander, what do you know about Dawn?”

Xander was already standing ramrod straight, so he couldn’t really snap to attention at Joyce’s question. It doesn’t mean he didn’t try. Good thing too, as every fibre in his being was telling him to do what Dawn had done so very well. To run. He suddenly realized something. *Dawn,* he thought over the link.

*Yes, Xander.”

*Are you pouring your feelings into me, making me want to run?*

*Maybe.*

*Please stop, I doubt I’ll survive your mother if I try.*

The need to flee lessened, a little, and he returned his focus back to the reality of the library, only to jump a meter back, and stumble over the library table. Joyce had been standing not thirty centimetres away when he opened his eyes again. She didn’t look happy. At all.

“J...Joyce. Ms. S. I didn’t do it.” he blurted out, automatically. Later he would blame Dawn for his lack of nerve in the face of the ultimate terror any teenage boy can encounter. A girl’s mother.

Of course blaming Dawn was a bad move in its own right. For a while showers could have something other than water in them, or none at all. Doors could refused to open, or open when he’d rather they didn’t.

She may only be a twelve year old girl, but she was indubitably a Summers girl. With all that this entails.

Joyce closed the distance to Xander, where he had ended up after stumbling into, onto and then off the table, and to everyones amazement lifted Xander off the floor one handed, by his ear.

“Now, what do you know about Dawn’s disappearance?” Joyce demanded.

Buffy decided to help out, “A great deal, mom. But I’m afraid you are not going to like it.”

“Buffy. Please stop helping me, I think it made her mad...er.” Xander pleaded, barely able to reach the floor, while being held firmly by the ear. And he was right, the grip tightened, and Joyce definitely looked very angry.

“Joyce, please try to calm down. Xander had nothing to do with Dawn’s disappearance,” Giles decided to step in.

That was about as far as anyone got, before the skylight was smashed in, and a transport pod was trying its very best to come into the library, that way. At the same time half a dozen DRD’s burst through the library doors, and started to poke at Joyces feet, obviously trying to get her to release Xander’s ear.

She didn’t and instead of just retreating, she was dragging Xander with her, and the DRD’s got even more irate, zipping around angrily, frightening Joyce even more.

The end result was that Xander stumbled over one of the DRD’s, dragged Joyce to the floor with him, and they ended up in a tangled mess. Luckily they were both fully clothed, lest their position would have put the Kama Sutra to shame.

With the help of Buffy and Willow, they managed to untangle themselves, and get back on their feet.

The transport pod was still trying to wedge itself through the too narrow skylight, when Buffy finally got to her senses. _”DAWN! MARIE! SUMMERS! STOP THAT! RIGHT NOW!”_ she snapped at the top of her lungs. It worked, as everybody stopped. Including the DRD’s.

The transport pod slowly edged back out of the hole in the roof, and landed in the ruins of that skylight.

While it was doing that, the six DRD’s took guarding positions at Xander’s feet, pointing their smalls guns at everyone in the room, and not quite directly at Joyce.

Buffy’s exclamation had left everyone’s ears ringing. Once that started to subside it seemed that Joyce’s ire was homing in on a new target. Xander released a sigh of relief.

“Buffy?” Joyce finally said. Growled really. The Kelvin scale was starting to struggle to stay above zero at this point.

“Mom.” Buffy was almost timid. Xander couldn’t blame her. She may be the slayer, but he was sure that had the slayer essence ever combined with Joyce instead, no demon would want to be on the same continent as the combination of power and pure intimidation Joyce was so obviously capable of.

“Mom,” Buffy repeated, “Please have a seat. We _really_ need to tell you something.”

At the same time, there was a low, almost subsonic hum coming from outside the library, through the skylight. The transport pod moved aside, and allowed the appearance of a glistening black and red shape just outside.

* * *

“Sir, it’s back,” Carter stated once she got through to the General.

“What did it shoot this time?” Hammond wanted to know. Dreading the answer.

“Ehrm, nothing, sir. Yet.”

“Yet?”

“Well, we did pick an odd radio transmission coming from it as it entered the atmosphere at high speed.”

“What did it say?”

“We don’t really know, sir, the technicians are working on it now, sir.”

“What’s wrong Carter, I know that voice.” Hammond demanded.

“Well, sir. It sounded like a girl screaming ‘Mom! Get your hands off my boyfriend!’. sir.”

“I did ask,” Hammond muttered, almost inaudibly, “Get the technicians to work on it faster, and please find out where it was heading.”

“Already on it, sir.”


	5. Chapter 5

## Chapter 5

Joyce looked at the people in the library, almost uncomprehending, panic stricken.

Buffy repeated her statement, “Please have a seat. We _really_ need to tell you something.”

“About Dawn? Where is she?” Joyce asked, while being led towards the table. Opposite the side Xander was now standing at.

“Tell me what is going on, please!” Joyce begged of them.

“Dawn is ok, and should be safe for now.” Xander answered.

“I’m hearing a but in there.”

“There is one, and a big one at that.”

“Mom, do you remember when I told you what happened at Hemery High?”

Joyce nodded, “You weren’t yourself, we had to do something.”

“This is worse,” Buffy added. “Sorta,” she winced.

“How can it be worse than you believing in Vampires, Buffy?”

“It’s magic,” Buffy started, “This time it’s magic. And no, we didn’t do it. The guy who sold us our costumes did,” She looked at her mother while she told her this, waiting for the explosion. An explosion that didn’t come. If anything that made Buffy even more apprehensive.

“So this...That guy was the one who turned us into our costumes?”

Buffy blinked, that she didn’t expect. “Mom? What did you dress as?”

“mmpomam mmnyza.”

“Mom?”

“Commandant Mele-On Grayza, ok! Dawn is not the only one who loves that show.”

Buffy raised her hands in defence. “Ok, ok, I’m not saying anything,” she backpedaled, and weirded out by the thought of her mom wearing something like that. “Ehrm, did you retain anything from the evening?”

“Not much, really, except this,” she reached into her purse, and accidentally hit something she shouldn’t have, and blew a hole in the side of the purse, and another in the door behind Giles.

Giles had been polishing his glasses, rigorously, when he saw a fireball coming right at him, he didn’t have time to move, but felt the heat of it, as it flew past his head, singeing his hair a little.

Then he hit the floor. As did everyone else, except Joyce, who was staring at her purse, stunned, then gingerly removed the weapon from it and held it by the grip, between two fingers. She slowly placed the offending item on the table. That’s when she finally registered the DRD’s zipping around on the floor, clearly agitated.

She sat down, heavily. Shaking her head.

Xander stuck his head above the edge of the table to check the situation, and immediately registered the peacekeeper pistol laying there. “I think it’s clear now,” he said as he slowly reached for the weapon, and pulled it further away from Joyce, who was still staring at it in horror.

“Bloody hell woman! Watch where you point that thing next time!” came the growl from behind the library desk.

Buffy and Willow looked at eachother, then towards the desk. “Sounded like Giles,” Buffy muttered.

“No, it really didn’t.” Willow replied.

Giles rose from his position, holding up his beloved glasses, clearly broken and bent. He looked shocked, and furious. “Haven’t you ever heard of gun safety?” he snapped, looking straight at Joyce.

“Sorry, it’s my first gun. They have safeties?”

It took a few seconds, but Giles finally calmed down. “Sorry, it’s just that getting shot at tends to make me a little … upset,” he said, still shaking a little.

He then approached the table, and looked at the weapon lying there, clearly not just a prop. “Wh...who is this Commandant Grayza, if I may ask?”

“Just a character from the same show as Xander’s and Dawn’s costumes came from,” Buffy answered. “What I want to know, is why you decided to dress as that skank?”

“It was that, or Jenavian Charto, and I didn’t think I’d be able to fit that one. Aeryn Sun was already gone.” Joyce replied, then focused back on Buffy, “But Dawn’s costume didn’t come from there, we made it ourselves.”

“With pieces of items that did come from there, I guess,” Giles added.

“Oh, My, God! Dawn became Talyn?” Joyce started to panic. Again. “But, but, ...”

“But she’s ok,” Xander interrupted, “at least she’s still alive.” He looked towards the skylight, “Joyce, please meet your daughter.”

It took Joyce a few seconds to realize what she was looking at, then she promptly fainted.

* * *

“What do you have,” Hammond asked, as he strode into the gate control room.

“Sir, we found it.” Samantha answered. “It is in a little town north of Los Angeles called Sunnydale.”

“Sunnydale? My wife’s cousin lives there,” he muttered in reply, then louder, “What is it?”

“We don’t really believe it ourselves, sir. This ship should not exist.” Sam finally manages to say.

“Why not?”

“It’s Talyn, sir.”

The general gave her a blank stare.

“It’s a fictional spaceship, from a TV series called Farscape.”


	6. Chapter 6

## Chapter 6

Buffy rushed forward to catch her mother, as she began sliding off her chair. She succeeded and managed to haul her back up, and then onto the table.

Outside Dawn was getting agitated. With everything she had been witnessing, first through her link to Xander, then the pod she’d controlled remotely, and its DRD’s, to get a better look, and finally as herself. Having her mother faint at the sight of her had not made things easier. She knew she looked different, of course, but still.

While she was waiting for her mother to come to, she picked up sirens approaching. She quickly turned around to get a better look, and in doing so managed to knock over the school clock and bell tower with her tail fins.

*Xander?*

*Dawn, what’s going on out there? What was that rumbling noise?* Xander asked.

*I didn’t mean to, I forgot how long I am now.*

*What happened, and what is that noise, are those sirens?*

*I said I was sorry, I think I knocked over your school’s bell tower. As for the sirens. That’s the police.*

“Police?” Xander yelled from within the library, and over the link. *Dawn, I know you want to see your mom, but I think you should hide.*

*Where?*

*I don’t know.* That was about as far as they got before the first police car rolled up to the school.

The sight of a massive ship hovering over the school must have been a surprise, the cops certainly reacted to the unknown, and opened fire. Dawn barely felt the bullets hitting her hull, but she was still surprised by the guns, and in panic accidentally discharged her gun, again. She didn’t stick around to see what that hit, and immediately headed out, over the water.

*Dawn,* Xander sent over the link, *you really need to learn to handle that gun, the shockwave was felt in here as well. Last time you fired it you hit the MIR space station.*

*I blew up MIR?*

*No, you just winged it, a little.*

*Then what did I hit the sec...oops!* Dawn started, then realized something, *I forgot to tell you, didn’t I*

*Forgot to tell me, what?* Xander was starting to develop quite the impressive headache at this point.

*I think I hit something, right before I flew to Mars.*

*We really need to talk, for now I have to get back to you later, I think you scared the police outside.*

*I scared them? They shot at me first!*

*I know.* Xander replied, trying to calm her, *Stay hidden, and please don’t shoot anything else.*

*I think I know what I hit now...it’s probably nothing important, but I’m still afraid Buffy will kill me for it.*

*What?*

*The Mall.* she answered.

*Dawn. Forget the police. Just hide.*

* * *

Inside the library Joyce was finally waking up again, though no one noticed at first, as everybody was still looking at Xander after his previous outburst.

“What do yo mean the Police are here?” Buffy broke the silence. Very efficiently.

“Buffy, please, not so loud. I know no one would guess by looking at you, but you really do have an impressive set of lungs...” His brain finally managed to catch up to his mouth, and he groaned. “Sorry, It’s been a long night,” he tried. He really did, but Buffy looked like she was about to detonate.

Giles noticed as well, and while he could sympathize, he needed answers more than entertainment. “Xander, about the police?”

“I have no idea, I guess someone must have seen Dawn hovering above the library and called them.”

“And the gunfire?” Willow asked.

“They shot at Dawn. She panicked, and discharged her cannon. Again. No worries, she is hiding out in the bay. I think.”

“The police shot my Dawn?” Joyce was fully awake, and very angry. At least, Xander realized, her ire was finally aimed elsewhere.

“Don’t worry Mrs. S, she’s fine.” Xander started, “Well, as fine as any panicking twelve year old spaceship can be really.”

“So...that was my little Dawnie up there?”

“Not so little any more.”

“Why? Why didn’t she return to herself like the rest of us did?” Joyce demanded.

“I have no idea, we were trying to figure that out when you arrived.” Giles answered. “And I’m afraid any further explanations will have to wait. The police can be here any moment.”

Joyce looked at Xander, realizing something he had said, “You said she fired her cannon again, she has done this before?”

“Twice it seems, the first time she nearly missed MIR, the other, I have no idea, but she decided to hide behind Mars when she did.”

“And this time?” Joyce didn’t look happy, Xander couldn’t blame her. ”What did she hit this time?”

“I’m not entirely sure. But from the sound of it, Buffy and the girls are going to be enjoying a fire sale at the mall, soon.” Xander answered.

That was as far as they got before the library doors slammed open, and what looked like half the Sunnydale police force filed into the library.

The reason only half the force entered, was quite simple. They was no room for the other half, who apparently were pushing their way forward, in the school hallway.

Buffy, Xander and Joyce all seemed to realize one thing at the same time, and all dove for the gun still lying on the table, in order to hide it.

They only succeeded partially, as the thing decided to discharge another round, as they managed to first push it away from them, then were trying to prevent it from falling to the floor. The fireball gave one of the police officers an inverse Mohawk haircut, as it blew off his cap.

* * *

“SG-1, get ready to gear up, you are going to Sunnydale to investigate this...Talyn.” Hammond commanded, “And I don’t think I have to tell you to be careful.”

“Always, sir. It’s just a quiet little town. It’ll be a walk in the park.” Jack O’Neill saluted, before he and his team left the conference table.


	7. Chapter 7

## Chapter 7

Everyone stood absolutely still. The atmosphere in the library thick enough with tension, that even the sharpest knife would be hard pressed to cut through it. It lasted for about five seconds, before the screams of the unlucky officer, who just received a thermal haircut startled everyone, as he frantically started patting his head, in order to extinguish the embers left in his burnt hair.

Xander immediately raised his hands high above his head, as he got back on the floor. Buffy and Joyce followed his lead. Mentally he called Dawn, asking her to remain calm, he had felt her agitation over the link.

*Dawn, we might need a little diversion shortly,* Xander sent over the link.

*I’ll think of something. Don’t get shot, please.*

*I’ll try not to.* Xander sent back, before focusing on the officers, who were still aiming their guns at...well everything, and everyone.

“Ahem,” Giles cleared his throat to get their attention. The sudden noise sent a ripple through the sea of officers. “Sorry for asking, but what are you all doing in my library?”

The officers started looking at one another, at first not really comprehending the calmly stated question, then once that filtered through their heads, they were at a loss.

Xander tried to help out, “Who’s in charge here?”

After a few seconds, one officer raised his hand, “I think I am.”

“You think you are?” Xander asked, incredulous.

The now semi bald officer looked around, then back to Xander, “I think so. I can’t see my superior in here.”

He took a deep breath, then stared at the officer in question, “Please answer Giles question then. What are you all doing in his library. And why this many of you?”

“The … thing that was above the school, and destroyed one of the towers...” he began.

*THING??!?*

Xander winced, *Not so loud Dawn, please. He can’t hear you anyway.*

Xander returned his attention to the officer. “So you see what looks like a ship, hovering above the school, and then decide to come in here, in force, and in doing so scares the witches, having their magic spell blow up, causing that burn?” He asked, pointing to the still smoking scalp of the officer he was talking to.

*I hope this bluff works. SDPD are oblivious to anything supernatural, if it doesn’t work, we need a little distraction.* he sent to Dawn.

“Magic?” he muttered after a while.

“To fight gangs on PCP, right?” Buffy added.

At the codeword PCP, it was as if someone had flipped a switch on the officers, their previously confused, yet fairly attentive demeanor, suddenly changed to a far more relaxed, almost blissful expression, as if someone had magically deducted a hundred IQ points from each and every one of them.

The leading officer looked at Xander, a dull expression on his face. “So the thing was?”

“Just an illusio...” Was as far as Xander managed to get before Dawn made her ire known.

*I* [BOOM] *AM* [BOOM] *NOT* [multiple BOOMS] *A* [BOOM] *THING!* [VERY BIG BOOM].

Xander all but collapsed on the floor, grasping his head. Dawn could apparently be _very_ loud.

The officers, startled and confused, started filing out of the library fast, heading towards the parking lot.

What they found there was not what they had expected. then again, few people expect a normally pristine parking lot to look like world war three had decided to pay them a visit. Every single one of the police cars, as well as their bus was smouldering ruins, as was the asphalt where they had once been parked.

Above them, had they looked, they’d have seen the slender form of a warship, making a twisting motion and would, had they known it was a twelve year old girl, have been best described as a person nodding, followed by an annoyed “Humph”, before it did a 270 degree turn, and left the school, heading towards the harbour. Again, with the demeanor of a teenager, stomping off unhappily, after having made a final statement.

* * *

Inside the library, Xander was slowly recovering, while Buffy and Joyce were both asking him a lot of questions, both at the same time. “Please, let me sit, and I’ll see what I can find out,” he finally muttered.

“What just happened,” a confused Willow asked.

“Dawn was a little upset that the officer kept calling her ‘a thing’,” Xander explained, he then looked at Joyce, “She’s going to be really interesting to be around, once she becomes a teenager.”

“She is NOT going to be a … a …” Joyce visibly deflated, before sitting down again, then muttered, “she’s a spaceship. My little girl, is a spaceship.”

While Joyce was trying to digest that realization, Willow asked again, “What happened? why did the police suddenly accept what we told them at face value? What was that noise outside?”

“Something in Sunnydale seems to be keeping the population docile, and ignorant of the night life. I’ve seen the phrase ‘Gangs on PCP’ mentioned often when the papers describes vampire attacks and other supernatural occurrences.” Giles explained, “It may be a magical compulsion on the police force as well, using that phrase as a trigger.”

“Well, we should start cleaning up here, and someone, please find that pistol, before it causes more trouble.” Giles finished.

“And the explosions?” Buffy asked.

“Dawn won’t tell me.” Xander replied.

“You are talking to her now? How?” Joyce demanded.

Xander moved closer to her, and bent over, showing her the interface in his neck, “Through this link.”

“Can I?...” she trailed off.

“I don’t know, not at the moment.” Xander answered, then realized something, “Though she seemed to be able to when we called the library on the phone.”

“What about those explosions?” Buffy demanded.

“I’m not sure, Buffy, but I get the distinct impression that the officers are going to have a long walk home to their precinct.” Xander snickered.

“Oh.” Buffy replied, before deciding to inadvertently send her mother into another round of catatonia, by asking “I wonder if our insurance covers a space station?” before leaving the library to check out the school parking lot.

* * *

The scenes greeting SG-1, as they drove into Sunnydale a few hours later, didn’t quite reflect Jack’s idea of a ‘quiet little town’, apparently the city mall was a blazing inferno, and additional fires could be seen further ahead, coming from what could be the local High School, judging from the street signs.

“I wonder if the Ken doll family are safe.” Teal’c suddenly asked.

“Kendall, Teal’c, Hammond’s relatives are the _Kendall_ family.” Jack replied. Not for the first time. This was apparently the time for Teal’c to discover satire. “Keep an eye out, NORAD claims that the ship hasn’t left town yet.”


	8. Chapter 8

## Chapter 8

Willow thought about Xander's last comment, “A long walk? What did Dawn blow up?...This time?”

“She won’t tell me... What is that noise?” Xander started to answer, when he heard an odd sound coming from the hallway. He barely avoided being knocked over by the doors slamming open, as Buffy came running back into the library, screaming, and demonstrating the doppler effect quite nicely doing so.

“...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!”, she finally ran out of breath, allowing the others to get a word in.

“Buffy! What’s wrong?” Giles demanded. Xander would have asked, but he was busy clearing the ringing from his ears, caused, yet again, by Buffy’s yelling.

“Dawn. She did it again!” Buffy answered, while out of breath. Apparently not even a Slayer could run and scream at the same time.

“What did Dawn do? And why again?” Joyce had finally managed to shake herself out of her catatonic state.

“She, in her infinite pre-teen wisdom, apparently thought that using the police cars of the SDPD, to make a point, would be a great idea.” Buffy answered, obviously angry. “You know, Xander? You are absolutely right, she’s going to be _really_ fun to handle, once she becomes a teenager!”

“Buffy! What did Dawn do?” her mother demanded, having had enough of the half answers.

“She blew up all the police cars in the parking lot!” she said, as she sat down, demonstrably hard on a chair. Of course she had to pick the one chair that had taken the brunt of the falling debris from the skylight earlier.

It collapsed under her.

She just looked around her, shaking her head in disgust, then leveling a glare at Xander, who was about ready to collapse on the floor in hysterical laughter. The human mind can only take so much insanity, before it has to let off some steam. Buffy’s glare was the last straw for Xander, and he did collapse, followed almost immediately by Buffy, it didn’t take long for the rest of them to follow suit.

* * *

It was almost ten minutes later, before any of them spoke again.

“I just asked Dawn, she made sure the cars were empty.” Xander said.

“That’s good to know, but please tell me what is going on here,” Joyce asked.

Fifteen minutes later, they had relayed everything they knew, and thought they knew to a disbelieving Joyce.

“And where is this...Ethan now?” she demanded.

“We don’t know, but we are going to keep an eye out for him. There is a lot to pay for.” Giles answered.

“Good. Get in line, I’m Dawn’s mother, so I get to strangle that bastard first.”

Even if they had any objections, the tone of Joyce’s voice left no room for arguments.

“You said I could talk to her on the phone?” Joyce asked after a short while.

“Let me try to talk to her, see if I can get her to call,” Xander replied. He didn’t need to, Dawn had been listening in.

Giles answered the phone as it rang, and put it in conference mode. He then nodded to Buffy, Willow and Xander, motioning them towards the library entrance. Dawn and Joyce needed some time alone.

* * *

Once in the hallway, Buffy asked, “What the hell are we going to do, Giles?”

“I have no idea yet. We need to research this, thoroughly.”

“My sister is a spaceship, with what appears to be an impressive array of powerful weapons. But she’s still a pre-teen at heart. We need to get her back into her human form.”

“Buffy,” Xander answered her, “We also have to be ready for the eventuality, that we can’t get her back. But we will figure all this out, somehow.”

“I hope so. Where is she now?”

“She’s hiding outside the harbour. I think she’s a little scared of her own destructive power.” Xander answered Buffy’s question, “That may be a good thing though. We can’t have a teenager running around blowing up the city every time she throws a tantrum.”

Xander winced, his eyes became unfocused, an expression the others had quickly learned to recognize. It meant that he was talking to Dawn. “Yes you do Dawn, just look at the past day or so.”

…

“I understand, and we’ll figure something out, now get back to your mother.”

…

“Thanks.”

His focus returned, “Sorry. Dawn didn’t quite agree about her tantrums.” He looked at Giles, “You know what we have forgotten about, Giles?”

“What?”

“The costumes. I’m not sure Dawn and I are the only ones who retained aspects of them.”

“Buffy and Willow didn’t, I assumed that was true for everyone else.”

“I actually think they did. And then there is Joyce,” he looked at Buffy.

“What about my mom?”

“For starters, her pistol? It’s definitely real. Second, She has always been scary when she was upset or angry, but she took it to whole new levels today.” Xander paused for a few moments, thinking, before asking, ”And is it just me, or does she look a little younger, a little slimmer than usual?”

Giles stepped over to the library doors, and peeked through the windows. “I think you are right, Xander.” he said after a few moments. Shaking his head, he then looked back at Xander, “What do you mean by Buffy and Willow having retained aspects of their costumes?”

Instead of answering directly, he turned to Buffy, “When did you last speak to Willow?”

Buffy opened her mouth to answer, and snapped it shut again a few seconds later, when the answer didn’t come. She then looked at Willow, confused. “When?”

They all looked at Xander.

“I just noticed the same thing earlier. Willow, you are usually very vocal, but tonight you have hardly said anything. In the beginning I just thought you might have been shaken about this evening, but the more I think about it, the more I believe you still have that ‘someone elses problem’ ghost thing going on.”

He then looked at Buffy, “And your vocabulary has improved quite a bit, as has your lung capacity if I’m not mistaken.”

Buffy looked down at her chest, confused.

Xander turned towards Giles, “Am I right in assuming that most 18th century noble women received musical training?”

Buffy looked back at Xander and Giles, blushing slightly at her mistake, when she realized what Xander had been referring to.

“Some certainly did,” Giles answered, deep in thought. “Where are you going with this?”

“Think about it. I wanted Crichton, Joyce wanted to be Aeryn Sun, and they had a Peacekeeper  assassin's costume there, also a named character from the series.” Xander explained, “Those costumes are still out there. Along with who knows how many others.”

Further thought was interrupted by Joyce’s loud exclamation, “DAWN MARIE SUMMERS! That is enough!”

* * *

Standing at the edge of a war zone, the SG-1 team had trouble wrapping their heads around the devastation they were seeing in the High School parking lot. The ruins of what appeared to be a dozen police cars and a bus were strewn around the area, yet no police or other forms of rescue personnel were to be seen.

They all spun around as one, when they heard a deep growl coming from behind them. “Thanks for bringing dinner, big guy. I do love takeout.”


	9. Chapter 9

## Chapter 9

At Joyce’s loud exclamation, they all filed back into the library. Joyce looked up at the intrusion, leveling a  stern gaze at the gang, almost causing them to back out again.

Xander reacted by reaching out through his link, and only found a very annoyed Dawn, who immediately shut down the link, almost painfully fast.

“What’s wrong?” Buffy asked a few moments later.

“She...She likes her new form. We talked about trying to return her to her human form, but she is adamant that she actually likes it better the way she is now.” Joyce almost sobbed. “I tried to ask her to change her mind.”

*Demanded really.* Xander jolted, as if having been electrocuted, he hadn’t noticed that Dawn had reopened the link.

*What did you say to her?*

*Try and catch me.*

Xander groaned, *Be nice, Dawn! She’s your mother. And please remember, we are all a little freaked out.*

“Are you still talking to my girl?” Joyce walked towards Xander, whose focus return to the library right away. As he saw Joyce, he tried to backpedal as fast as she was approaching.

He was so focused on Joyce, that it took him a few seconds to realize that the pillar he was leaning against had not been cooperative enough to get out of his way.

“The link, remember, it is pretty hard not to,” he defended himself as Joyce was standing uncomfortably close.

Joyce shook her head, and slowly backed away. She was about to say something when the phone rang. Giles helpfully put it on conference mode again.

“Dawnie?” Joyce asked.

“It’s me, mom. Sorry. Xander reminded me we are all a little upset, and freaked out here.”

“He’s definitely right about that.” Buffy muttered. “You really like your new body?”

“I do. I know it sounds weird, but I feel...free. Flying through space was...I can’t describe it. I can see gravity, and the solar winds. I don’t want to miss that again,” she explained.

“But you’ll never have a boyfriend,” Buffy got a mischievous glint in her eyes, “And you are naked.”

“Nice try, Buffy, I still have better curves than you do,” Dawn replied.

Things started to get really ugly from that point.

Xander looked at Joyce, then Giles, mouthing, “please, make them stop!”

Joyce either got the message, or was feeling the same way Xander did. “Girls! Stop! Or so help me, you’ll both be grounded for a week.”

“Mom, You can’t...” Dawn started, but was interrupted by her mother, “Believe me, I’m your mother, I’ll find a way, or I’ll start telling embarrassing stories instead.”

That shut up both girls.

Xander looked at Joyce, clearly impressed, she had probably just done the impossible, she had just silenced Buffy, and made a multi ton warship cower in fear, at the same time.

“Joyce,” he started, smiling, “I’m sure Dawn wouldn’t mind if you stayed on board for a while.”

*XANDER! What are you doing?*

*Helping you bond. We can even bring your cat, if you like.*

*But...*

*You might not like it, but you need the contact. Now and later. Trust me, it beats having no real parents at all.*

*Ok* came the reply a few moments later.

“You can come, mom. If you like.” Dawn then relayed over the phone.

The girls started on the details and some of the ‘house’ rules. Not something Xander would want to get caught up in. He looked at Giles, “Please make sure they aren’t making any rules I can’t live with. I really need some fresh air.” he said, before leaving the library.

The look on Giles’ face, had Xander stayed long enough to see it, clearly told that he would do no such thing, especially now that Xander had left him to handle the girl talk, alone.

Xander exited the school, only to notice some people across the parking lot struggling with someone, or as it turned out, something. He immediately turned around and yelled as loudly as he could into the hallway, “BUFFY! You have work to do out here!” while he sent for Dawn to come back to school as backup, and started to run to aid the strangers against the vampire.

Xander tackled the vampire running at full speed into it. It growled and yelled in protest as they tumbled along in the grass. They managed to regain their footing and stood up, taking stock of their opponent.

At four to one, the Vampire had relished the odds, at five to one, he was less certain, trying to decide...

The decision was made for him, when a plasma bolt blasted its way right over his head. Shocked, he looked toward the school briefly, and saw not only the slayer approaching, but a slightly older woman whose bearing just screamed Angry Mother. And she was holding a strange gun, taking aim at him.

The Vampire started to run through the cemetery, as fast as he could. After a while he looked back, and noticed it wasn’t being chased, he started to slow down, thinking happily to itself, that he had gotten away, and nothing else could go wrong, it started to turn towards the cemetery entrance, when it noticed the huge dark shape in the sky, approaching.

* * *

Jack and his team, as well as the teenager that had helped them out were shocked when they heard a desperate scream coming from the cemetery, “Bloody hell Murphy! I was only THINKING it!” before a bright orange blast shattered the silence, neatly destroying what they assumed was the vampire, and a large section of the cemetery around it.

When the first coffin slammed into the ground near them, they all started running towards the school, as if their lives depended on it. Additional coffin and skeleton impacts reinforced that notion.

“Damn it Dawn, a little less power next time, please.” Xander muttered.

*Why? It was fun*

*Because Buffy is definitely going to kill you for this one.*

*Why?*

*One. She was almost flattened by one of the coffins your blast threw out of the ground.*

*Oh. And... I definitely hear an ‘two’ there*

Xander and the SG-1 team all started gagging. when the wind carried the stench towards them.

*The corpse in it is pretty ‘fresh’* he finally replied.

* * *

Xander yelled to Buffy to run around the school to the gym entrance, for a much needed hose down, before closing the doors, to block as much as possible of the stench from entering.

He finally noticed the four people standing between him and Joyce, still looking transfixed at the shape hovering silently above the cemetery.

“Joyce, please guard these four, I have to help Buffy.” he said, before running toward the gym.

Once Xander had left, she turned to the four people, studying them. “That is an interesting tattoo you have there, what does it mean?” she asked.

* * *

In an abandoned warehouse, a lonely, black haired Vampire was crying.

“Oh, Miss Edith. My poor Spikey is not coming home any more.”


	10. Chapter 10

## Chapter 10

Spike was walking into the cemetery when he noticed another vampire running in the opposite direction, looking behind him at times, as if he was being chased.

“Bloody Slayer,” he muttered to himself, still smarting from the beating he had taken at her hands the evening before.

The other vampire suddenly looked up, and stopped running. Spike followed his gaze, and froze, “That’s impossible.”

The other vampire started yelling, “Bloody hell Murphy! I was only THINKING it!”

Then it struck.

Spike was being flung a fair distance away from the impact, and slammed into a grave stone. he shook his head, then stared at the length of wood sticking out of his chest in wonder. “Hah!, you missed,” he muttered, before noticing the angel, which had been standing on the stone he had impacted, stumble, and fall over him. And Spike was no more.

As Spike had just left, he didn’t see the heavy coverstone that would otherwise have ended him instead. It impacted his location mere seconds later, destroying the stone angel.

* * *

In an abandoned warehouse, a lonely, black haired Vampire was crying. “Oh, Miss Edith. My poor Spikey is not coming home any more.” She continued to whimper, “The sad angel took him away, she did.”

“That’s my girl.” Joyce said, as the four people they had rescued, still hadn’t taken their eyes off the ship, which was still hovering over the cemetery. “Of course I have to talk to her about her use of power, but really, she helped save you four people,” sounding proud.

SG-1 had started to turn around at the first remark, and were more or less all doing a fish impersonation by the time Joyce had finished.

When she didn’t receive an answer, Joyce continued. “Nice evening for a stroll, right? But really, you should be more careful with the nightlife.” She flicked off a few motes of dirt from Jacks jacket. She decided to take a page out of Buffy’s tactics, “Those gangs on PCP can really ruin an evening.”

“Oh God, I love that woman,” she heard a husky voice mutter behind her, and turned around, looking at Giles, who was standing at the library entrance. some fifty meters away. “You said something?”

“Ah, no...I didn’t,” Giles started to polish his glasses. Flustered. Blushing.

“Ahem, ‘Your girl’?” Jack finally managed to collect his thoughts. He really had a hard time focusing on his task, now that he, and it appeared along with Daniel and Teal’c, were mesmerized by her presence.

Joyce just nodded, smiling. Jack’s knees melted.

“Maybe you should head home, it should be safe outside now.” Joyce finished, and started to leave towards the library.

“Stop!”

Samantha Carter had noticed the odd behaviour on her three, male, team members. She was now pointing her service pistol at Joyce’s head. “What are you? And what have you done to my ... friends?” she demanded.

Joyce looked at Sam, “I didn’t do anything,” she replied, no longer smiling. “Please put down the gun.”

Sam really had no idea what to do, her three team members were more or less in a trance, “Sorry, not until you tell me what you have done.”

“Good night, then,” was the last thing Sam heard, before seeing stars, then nothing.

Behind her stood Buffy, with a frying pan of all things, she looked at it, weighing it in her hand, “Sturdy, Efficient. I should have one of these.”

Jack, Daniel and Teal’c barely reacted to the new development, and by the time they did, it was too late, and they were all sleeping next to Sam.

Buffy looked at her mother, “What did you do?”

“I have no idea, they just … became docile when I came close to them,” Joyce looked at her chest, noticing some slight perspiration there, she fingered it, and took a sniff. “Oh, no.”

“What?”

“I think I retained more of Greyza than I thought.” Joyce explained. “Come, we need to get to the library,” before grabbing Sam, and started to drag her along. Leaving Buffy with only the three men.

* * *

As they approached the library, Joyce saw Xander coming from the other side. “You better tell Dawn to hide again, she’s just hovering out there for all to see,” she said.

They were interrupted by another loud explosion coming from the general area of the cemetery. Joyce just looked at Xander, who was unfocused for a few moments, while he talked to Dawn.

“She doesn’t want to, she says she’s having too much fun. Her answer was, and I quote, ‘Shhh be vewy vewy quiet, I'm hunting wampas’ in a bad Elmer Fudd imitation,” Xander eventually explained, “but I think I managed to convince her to hide again."

“Do I want to know what she blew up this time?”

“Just a few more vampires, it would seem,” Xander replied.

“How can she be sure?”

“They don't have any bodyheat, I'm not really surprised that she can tell the difference.”

* * *

Back in the library they carefully bound the foursome, they had previously rescued, and removed any additional weapons and then their wallets.

“Why are we keeping them?” Giles asked.

“She pulled a gun on me,” Joyce gestures towards the blonde, “Buffy took exception to that and knocked her out.”

Giles looked at Buffy, who was busy at the moment, studying, and testing various combat moves and swings. With a frying pan. He then looked back at Joyce, about to ask...

“Don’t ask, I have no idea where she found it.” Joyce beat him to it.

“You seem to be adjusting quite well, it seems.”

“I’m a single mother of two girls, sometimes you learn to roll with the punches, or you go insane.” Joyce replied, “But, I’m afraid we may have a more immediate problem,” she glared at Giles.

“Look, I didn't mean for you to hear that...”

“Hear what,” Buffy wanted to know.

They ignored her.

“That is not it, though my new problem might have something to do with it. Look at my chest.” Joyce demanded.

“I’m really trying hard not to.”

“Just look, do you see this?” she swiped a finger across the chest, and held it up. There was a secretion on it.

“What is it?” Giles asked, moving a little closer, deeply fascinated.

“I’m not entirely sure what it is, but on the show, Greyza had these glands that could make men very cooperative, if she wanted them to.”

“So that is why they were ogling you, as if you were a teenage bikini model?” Buffy asked.

Gies suddenly realized just how close he was standing to Joyce, definitely just studying a problem, and took a step back.

“I think so”, Joyce leaned in closer to Giles, whispering, “And my hearing is much better too, it seems.”

Giles began stammering, and polishing his glasses. “It...it is?”

Joyce smiled, “We’ll be talking about that later. At great length.”

“Oh. My. Gawd!” Buffy exclaimed, “Go get a room already.”

Then she realized what she had just said, “No, don’t, I do not need to know this.”

“Ahh, the ignorance of youth.” Giles and Joyce said at the same time.

“But, what about them?” Buffy interrupted, pointing towards the four bound people, sitting on the floor.

The big guy, with the tattoo on the forehead started to regain consciousness.

* * *

Back in the warehouse, Drusilla was still crying over her lost love. “Ohh, Miss Edith says my kittens little kitten is a tiger now.”

She kept rocking back and forth, for a while, before suddenly standing up, a determined look on her face. “Miss Edith says, that my kitten needs fangs.” She nodded resolutely, and started to walk towards the warehouse entrance.


	11. Chapter 11

## Chapter 11

Xander had excused himself, as he started feeling a little lightheaded around Joyce, and instead headed upstairs to the ruins of the clock tower, wanting some fresh air.

Meanwhile, Teal’c was slowly waking up, his ears still ringing after whatever had been used to knock him out. He looked up, and noticed a short girl marching towards him, with a frying pan, ready to strike.

“Buffy!” Giles snapped, “Please don't’ hit our guests again.”

“But,” she started, “he’s waking up.”

Giles, and her mother just leveled their stares at her, and she eventually backed down. “I’ll go talk to Xander then,” she muttered, and left the library.

Giles turned to the now awake, but still tied up man on the floor. “I do apologize for that, she can get a little enthusiastic at times.”

“Indeed,” was the only reply he got. The only verbal one, the glare and single raised eyebrow spoke volumes on their own.

“Why are we tied up?” Teal’c finally asked.

“We saved you, then you pulled a gun on me. Well, your … What’s her name?”

“Major Samantha Carter of the United States Air Force,” came the reply, with an impressive growl, from the blonde. “And you are?”

“Joyce Summers of … Frell. One moment.”

Joyce walked over to Giles, whispering, “They are military. What do we tell them?”

“Can this get any worse?” Giles muttered.

Murphy, the little know god of unfortunate timing and improbable events, happily accepted the challenge.

A tall, beautiful woman, dressed in black, and with something of a manic expression on her face, waltzed into the library, she looked around. “Where is my kitten?”

* * *

Buffy and Xander were standing on the roof of the library, when they saw a plasma bolt streak up through the broken skylight in the library roof. They merely looked at each other for a few seconds, then started sprinting towards the library below.

They barged through the library doors, knocking Giles off his feet, as he was trying to run the other way, and ended up with a face full of library doors.

Inside, Buffy and Xander were by met a scene indicating a fight, but no one else was there, other than Giles, who was trying desperately to get back on his feet. Without much success.

“Oops, sorry Giles,” Buffy said, “I didn’t see you there. Where is my Mom?”

“Dru...Druschilla tookch her, and the othersch,” Giles was very hard to understand, as his speech was slurred, after having been nearly knocked out twice, first by Dru, then by Buffy. “They wentch into the sew’rsch!” he waved towards the rear of the library, before giving up getting back on his feet, and passed out.

Buffy immediately started running towards the rear of the library, and the oddly conveniently placed sewer entrance, behind the stacks.

“Buffy, wait,” Xander yelled, as he went over to check on Giles, and started dragging him further into the library, to make him at least a little more comfortable.

“What?”

“We need weapons!”

Buffy looked at her frying pan, then back at Xander. “You are right. I need another one.”

“Stakes, swords, arrows. and more,” Xander exclaimed, exasperated.

“Oh.”

They each stocked up on various items, far more than they really needed, but if there was one thing both had learned on the Hellmouth, there is no such thing as overkill.

Xander stopped at that thought, and opened his link to Dawn, telling her about her mother.

* * *

They followed the sewers towards the warehouse district. The only place they knew they could find a self respecting master vampire, and her lair.

It did take them a few tries before they located the right lair, though. The first one surprised them, and they had to slay the minions living there. The next three lairs they just took note of the address, and left, moving on to the next. Dawn needed to have some fun, as well.

They had discussed it after finishing the first lair.

“Leave them to Dawn.” Xander suggested.

“Why her?”

“What scares you the most, Buffy?” Xander asked, “A petulant. jealous, scared, or angry Dawn, or a bored Dawn?”

“Good point. Lets move out,” Buffy replied after barely a second of thinking. A bored Dawn had been scary enough, when she was human.

* * *

Peeking through the sewer lid, Buffy and Xander managed to get a feel for the layout and number of vampires in the lair, where Joyce and the four military types were being held.

Drusilla was prancing around, and kept alternating between referring to her kitten, and his new fangs, and sad Angels taking her Spikey away.

* * *

They quickly formed a plan of attack, building on a Hollywood classic; storming in, yelling at the top of their lungs.

Taking care of the few minions was easy, but Buffy had trouble keeping the crazy Dru from rushing towards Xander.

“Hey there, are you alright?” Xander whispered to the 5 people inside the holding cell, while he started to strap a pair of sticks of dynamite onto the door.

“Define ‘alright’,” Jack snapped back.

“Alive.”

“Then yes. We are alright.” Jack noticed Xander’s actions. “Are those explosives?”

“Don’t worry, this is a shaped charge.” Xander replied.

Carter eyed the charge Xander was placing, “What _kind_ of shape?” she asked, having a bad feeling about the whole thing.

“Spherical,” Xander replied, before diving for cover, giving SG-1 only a few seconds to look for cover themselves. Inside the empty cell, there was, unsurprisingly, very little to be found.

At the same time, Xander had told Dawn to destroy the other three lairs they had found. She happily obliged.

Xander’s own charge blew at the same time Dawn leveled the second warehouse. The third target was different though, and when she put a blast into that, the containers inside reacted violently, almost singeing the nose of Dawn’s new form, she moved backwards, and a fourth round was discharged in surprise.

Due to her rolling, and trying to avoid the flames, the blast hit nowhere near the warehouse district. She didn’t have time to register the mishap though, as she took stock of the devastation, she started to get concerned by the, now, flattened warehouses neighboring the one she had intended to hit..

*XANDER!*

“I’m here Dawn, what happened?”

*One of the warehouses you told me to shoot, exploded. It wasn't my fault...* she trailed off.

“Don’t worry too much about it, Dawn. I’m sure everything is fine.”

“What did she do?” Buffy almost growled out, as she tried to disentangle herself from some fallen debris, without letting go of the now unconscious Drusilla.

She looked at the wooden handle in her right hand, and in disgust, rammed the remains of her favourite frying pan, into the chest of the vampire, ending her unlife.

Carter was speechless, “She killed that woman in cold blood!”

“I’m more concerned about how she did it,” Jack muttered.

“A Slayer?” Daniel muttered quietly. But not quietly enough.

Xander had made his way to Buffy. “Dawn destroyed the warehouses we agreed on. One of them was a little … explosive.”

“Another one of your shaped charges, I take it,” Jack growled as he approached the two teens.

“Ah, not really. but it worked, didn’t it?”

Jack deflated, he couldn’t really find fault in that logic.

*Xander*

“Yes Dawn, what is it?” Xander replied.

*You know that ugly Wilkins statue in front of City hall?*

Xander hid his face in his hands, and started mumbling incoherently. Finally he looked at Buffy. “Your sister is going to be the end of me, you know that?”

“You won’t get any sympathies from me, mister. I’ve known her for twelve years, you’ve only had to deal with her for a day.” Buffy replied.

*HEY!*

Xander tensed, waiting for it...after ten seconds he looked at Buffy, “No explosion this time?” he asked hopefully.

“Dawn?”

*Yes, Xander?*

“Just checking. You didn’t fire your weapon this time?”

*No, I didn’t. I can control myself.*

“Except for the Winkins statue?”

*I was surprised, ok!*

“She shot the Wilkins statue in front of City hall?” Buffy interrupted.

“Apparently” Xander replied. Then he got the distinct feeling there was more to that story.

“Dawn, what else did you hit?”

*You know the City hall?*

“Yes...”

*Well, it might just need a little paint.*

“And?...”

*A new hall?*

“Just kill me now Buffy, please.” Xander replied, before slumping, and slowly walking out of the warehouse, defeated.

“What’s his problem?” Carter asked Buffy.

“Just my little sister. She has a little problem controlling her guns.”

SG-1 collectively did a double take. Even Teal’c was speechless.


	12. Chapter 12

## Chapter 12

It had been a long evening, and normally he would be at home, enjoying a nice cold glass of milk, and perhaps even some Oreo’s, while watching a city worker, who failed in his, or her, job being eaten by his friends.

But Friday evening things had taken a turn for the worse, neatly ruining some of his long laid plans. But that was nothing compared to the problems Saturday had been bringing. The Sunnydale Mall was in ruins. Whatever had hist it had kept the blaze going for hours. The School had been damaged severely, not to mention the explosive landscaping of two cemeteries, one of which had the unfortunate result of exposing the underground gas pockets formed by an actual leaking gas line running through that cemetery.

He knew that leaking gas lines were the usual explanation for people reporting seeing something weird, he had never actually counted on there actually _being_ a leak.

It had been raining human remains for over ten minutes afterwards. including one coffin destroying his own home. One of the reasons he had been staying at his office this late really.

“This really won’t do. I need the order to keep this town ready,” He mumbled. Spaceships blowing up his town was not something he had foreseen. Neither had his seers for that matter. They had all been screaming about Chaos destroying their sight. One of them even returned briefly as a ghost.

It had been almost unnerving.

His thoughts were disturbed by the rumbling of another explosion in the distance, and he went to his office windows to see what was happening, this time.

It was back, and from the looks of it, it was shooting up the warehouse district.

Mayor Wilkins looked at the floor, “What have I done to deserve this?”

His attention was drawn back to a massive explosion from the warehouse district, and he had just a few moments to realize that a streak of light was coming towards City Hall.

There was a thunderous explosion from the plaza in front of the City Hall, and the Mayor barely had time to realize that the fire had hit the base of his beloved statue standing there, before being thrown to the floor by the flying debris and broken windows.

“Oh, my...” was all he had time to mutter before his entire office became a rollercoaster, and he was in for the ride towards ground level.

* * *

On MIR, the cosmonauts had, at long last, managed to get the situation under control. They’ve had to shut down a majority of the systems to conserve what little power they had left, they even had to shut down a few of the modules, and close them off, as the life support systems drew too much power just to maintain their internal temperatures.

The Cosmonauts had just begun to relax a little, when collision alarms went crazy, soon followed by the actual collision they were alerting them to. Professionalism took over, and in mere seconds the affected areas had been identified, and they let out a collective sigh of relief. The impact had been in one of the now closed off sections.

Their relief turned to incredulousness, when they inspected the area a little later. There, on the hull of MIR, was a bronze statue. It had punched cleanly through the hull of the section, and emerged mostly on the other side, pointing proudly towards the stars.

Then the professionalism of these Cosmonauts took over, yet again, and they spent the next thirty minutes cursing at the bloody Americans, never breaking for breath, and actually never repeating a single cuss word in the process.

* * *

Back in the warehouse, Joyce finally managed to get to her daughter, holding her, as she looked like she was about to collapse. From the looks of it, the falling roof had hit her, and she was starting to get a little unsteady on her feet.

“We have got to get out of here, right away,” Joyce yelled in a commanding voice.

Recognizing a command, when they heard one, SG-1 quickly managed to gather those of their belongings the vampires had taken from them, and started to head out.

SG-1 all took a step back, when their route was blocked by an odd looking machine, but soon followed, as Joyce went up to it, patted it gently on the hull, affectionately muttering, “Thanks Dawnie,” before opening the door, and went inside, all but carrying Buffy in her arms.

They had barely taken off, before descending again, picking up a still muttering Xander.

On their way to the school, they couldn’t help but notice the ruins of what looked like the City Hall.

“Why did you blow up the City Hall?” Jack asked, as he was standing next to Joyce.

“I didn’t,” she replied.

“But you said the ship was your girl.”

As he said that, the red and black ship in question moved up next to them, and the transport flew inside. But not before Jack got a good appreciation about its size.

“I did, but she has a mind of her own, really. I’m just her mother,” Joyce replied as she was landing the pod.

“You mean Buffy’s little sister, your daughter, is flying this ship? Isn’t she a little young for that?” Jack exclaimed, incredulously.

“No. Dawn _is_ the ship.”

Jack was shocked. But only for a short while, he’d seen weird things before. “How the hell did that happen?” he muttered.

* * *

They had barely landed, before Xander was carrying the now obviously bleeding Buffy towards the medical station, and started to look over her wounds. He was quickly joined by a very worried Joyce.

They, especially Xander, let their Peacekeeper personalities take care of the problems. You didn’t become a peacekeeper ships captain, without rising through the ranks, and that included field operations, and among those, field medic training. They managed to stop the bleeding, and dress the wounds on Buffy’s back. The rest would be up to her slayer abilities, though considering the severity, they decided to take her directly to the hospital, just in case.

“Dawn, your sister needs help. please take us to the hospital.”

*Ok. But you better hurry to the pod, I’m already there.*

*...Xander.*

“Yes Dawn”, Xander replied, as he, and Joyce gently carried Buffy back to the pod, silently followed by the SG-1 team.

*Maybe we should choose another hospital, they seem to be in a panic out there.*

“Odd. Let’s have a look first.”

*Ok.*

* * *

Outside, there was indeed a panic going on. People trying to get away from the huge spaceship, who had just landed in the Hospital parking lot, crushing most of the cars there.


	13. Chapter 13

## Chapter 13

“No Dawn, we have to take her there. I just hope that with all the people leaving the hospital, there might be a doctor left to take care of your sister.” Xander yelled, as he hurried to the pod.

*Alright, I’ll just sit here, looking...bored.*

If Xander had paid attention, as he should have, that last remark would have filled him with dread.

It didn’t take long before they were leaving the hangar bay, and Xander was shocked at how close to the ground they already were.

They landed the pod in front of a group of scared people, but managed to calm them down long enough to take care of Buffy. As they wheeled her into the ER, followed closely by Joyce, Xander turned and looked at the parking lot.

“Uhm, Dawn?”

*Yes Xander?* came the innocent sounding reply.

“Just how close would you say you are to the ground?”

*About a foot, why?*

“How tall is a car?” Xander had been in the Summers home often enough to have learned a trick or two, the trick to Dawn, was to give her the data she needed, and let her draw her own conclusion on why she had just screwed up, and how.

*About four or five...Oh...Oops!*

She immediately raised herself a dozen feet further off the parking lot, making Xander’s and everybody else's ears pop, as the surrounding air rushed in to fill the void Dawn had just made.

The surviving cars promptly responded by engaging their car alarms, resulting in an unholy cacophonia of noise.

*AAAHHHHH...*

“Dawn?” Above him, Dawn was starting to move slightly erratically, raising her front in a jerking motion.

*AAAAAHHHH...*

Dawn was rocking side to side, and his link provided him with some clues that just didn’t make sense.

*AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH....*

“Uh, oh...” Was about as far as Xander got, before Dawn did what anyone would have thought impossible.

*AAAAAAHHHH-CCCHOOOOOOOOooooooo!!!*

Dawn suddenly moved rapidly backwards, while all her guns discharged, at the same time.

The last thing Xander remember thinking, before being overwhelmed by the noise, was “Dawn’s allergic to car alarms?”


	14. Chapter 14

## Chapter 14

Xander came to slowly, his ears still ringing from the simultaneous discharge from Dawn’s weapons. Front and aft.

He looked around, and saw surprisingly little devastation, the Hospital seemed intact...ish.

The silence around him was all the more startling, considering the noise that had caused him, and most others to pass out briefly. He wasn’t deaf though, as he could still hear the sirens in the distance, signalling yet another part of Sunnyhell devastated.

“Dawn?” he called out.

*XANDER!* came the happy reply, *I’m so, so, so sorry, I didn’t mean to, this time.*

“Calm down please, what happened?”

*I don’t know. Some of the car alarms … tickled, that’s the best description.*

“Next time. please just move away if you can.”

“Are you talking to her now?” came Jack’s growling question from behind him.

“I am, I have a direct link to her, why?”

“Please just tell her to stop blowing up the town.”

“I’m almost afraid to ask...”

“What did she hit, this time?” Jack suggested.

“Yeah. That,”

“Not a lot, actually, most of the blast exited over the harbour, though from the tidal wave that is coming in, there may be a few malcontent blue whales out there, and soon trouble here.”

“Why me?” Xander all but wailed.

“Karma? Murphy? The usual?” Jack suggested, ever so helpfully. “Listen, once the army boys figure out there is next to nothing they can do to save the harbour, thy might start shooting at the cause...I’m a little disappointed in them that they haven’t tried yet.”

“You want to shoot Dawn?”

“No, not me. We might need her to save the planet. The Army guys though... Have no idea how important she might me. All they are being told is that she's a menace.”

*Dawn, I know you are listening here.* Xander sent quietly.

*I am. And I’m leaving now. I’m sending the spare pod into orbit, let me know when you need it.*

*Thanks, and please don’t shoot Mir, again.*

*I only hit it once.*

*I know, Dawnie, I’m sure they’ll appreciate you don’t repeat it. I’ll be seeing you.*

“She’s leaving. I think she’s done enough damage for the day. What did she hit that last time? There is something you aren’t telling me.”

“Does she have a problem with your school?”

“Not particularly, why?” Then his mind caught up, “She shot the school? Which one?”

“Sunnydale High, I believe,” Jack answered.

“GILES!” Xander yelled, and started running towards the school. He had run for about half a mile, when Jack pulled up next to him, in a Humvee, he only had to ask if Xander wanted a lift, once.

Jack had barely stopped the Hummer before Xander was out of the door, and sprinting towards the school entrance. The building was a wreck. Fires most places, and the fire department was only just now starting to show up.

He finally managed to make his way into the library, finding a frantic Giles, hauling two pairs of duffel bags, probably full of books. Jack and Teal’c joined him only moments later. “Please help get these out.” Xander yelled at them, pointing to the bags Giles was trying, and failing to drag by himself.

It took them a little while, but they managed to get Giles and the books out, well before the fire started to consume the library. Giles looked at Xander, unhappy.

The only thing Xander could do was shrug, and say “Dawn sneezed.”

Sadder still was that Giles didn’t even ask for clarification. He was getting far too jaded about Dawn at this point.

Jack had excused himself, and went to the payphone across the street. He needed to report in.

“Giles?” Xander asked once he had gotten his breath back.

“What is it?”

“Did you figure out if we can turn Dawn back?”

“No, why?”

Xander relayed the events from when they left the library, till now. “Is there even anything left in town Dawn can possibly destroy?”

“There’s the harbour.” Giles suggested.

“No, that’s about to be washed away.”

Giles looked at him, one eyebrow raised in question. Even Jack would have been impressed, and he had learned Eyebrow communication from the best. Teal’c.

“I said she had a sneeze. She blasted the sea, we have a small tsunami inbound.”

“Ah. Then no, I can’t really think of anything else. Where is Buffy?”

“Still at the hospital.”

“Still standing?”

“Mostly. It needs new windows, and a new parking lot, though.”

“The sneeze?”

“You got it.”

You know people are tired beyond reason, when they can start conveying entire discussions with barely a single sentence.

*Xander?*

“Yes Dawn?”

Giles looked up, waiting for the next bit of bad news.

*Is Mir suppoed to have a statue of Wilkins on it?*

Xander slowly got up from the curb he was sitting on, and went to one of the firetrucks, and started bumping his head into its side.

*THUMP* *THUMP* *THUMP*

* * *

Meanwhile at SGC, a similar sound could be heard.

*THUMP* *THUMP* *THUMP*

Silar looked up from what he was doing. Hammond had told him to prepare for a briefing of SG-3 before they were to head out to P3X-911.

*THUMP* *THUMP* *THUMP*

The sound came from Hammond’s office. Worried Silar walked over to the door and knocked quietly. He didn’t receive an answer, though the odd sound continued.

*THUMP* *THUMP* *THUMP*

Silar opened the door slightly, to take a look, and found the General bumping his head into the desk.

*THUMP* *THUMP* *THUMP*

He quietly closed the door again, and went to get a pitcher of cold water and some Aspirins.

*THUMP* *THUMP* *THUMP*

It was odd really. SG-1 hadn’t been Off-World today.

* * *

Back in Sunnydale Jack came back to where Giles and Xander had been sitting, finding Xander missing. Then he heard it.

*THUMP* *THUMP* *THUMP*

He looked over, and found Xander bumping his head into the fire truck. He went over and looked at what Xander was doing. Then he joined him. It was just that kind of a day.

*THUMP* *THUMP* *THUMP*


	15. Chapter 15

## Chapter 15

Samantha Carter approached Giles, “What are they doing?”

Giles looked at her, just shaking his head, “I don’t know about Jack, but Xander just talked to Dawn,” he answered her, adding, “I’d be sorely tempted to join them, had it not been for my headache.”

She sat down, followed by Daniel, while Teal’c remained standing next to them. There wasn’t much they could do at the moment, Their task had been to make contact to the alien vessel, they’d done that. Though not in her wildest fantasies would she have guessed that it would have been something as destructive as this had turned out to be.

Or as mind blowingly insane.

“So, Vampires?” she asked, assuming he might have an explanation. Secretly she was hoping for an aneurysm, or hallucinations from a gas leak. She was a scientist, the supernatural just didn’t... fit.

“Real.”

So much for sticking her head into the sand.

“Yeah, sorry about that Sam.”

“Daniel? You know about this?” her head snapped around, staring at her teammate, as if he had suddenly grown a second head.

“I had a cousin who was called as a Slayer, it’s a little hard to miss the obvious, when it is trying to eat your jugular.”

Daniel, helped by Giles, brought them up to date on vampire lore, and told them about how he had been attacked one night, while walking his cousin home from the cinema, and seen his 13 year old cousin kick a vampire the size of Teal’c around like a rag doll, before impaling him with a bike rack.

Both Jack and Xander had joined them by the time they were done.

“Sir, are you ok with this?” Sam asked Jack.

He looked around, “Ask me tomorrow, right now I’m not sure there is anything left in Sunnydale to surprise me.”

He had barely finished the sentence, when he realized what he had done. Everybody tensed for a moment, waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak.

Nothing happened. Which could easily be the most surprising of the possible outcomes, of taunting Murphy like that.

They decided to get the rescued books back to Giles flat, before heading to the hospital to see how Buffy was doing.

On their way, Sam asked, “Sir, why were you banging your head against that fire truck?”

“I had just been briefing the general, these events weren’t limited to just this town.” Jack told her about the situation on Mir, and the intercepted tape of the Mir crew’s colorful description of America.

“Did you know that they went through five translators before they had most of that translated? And some parts are still pending, the translators flatly refusing to do it, and some just can’t be. After the first one nearly fainted, Janet started to monitor the rest, and had to stop them, when their blood pressure had reached an unsafe level.”

* * *

Marching into the hospital, they were met with mayhem, people were still running about like headless chickens, it seemed. Jack managed to stop one of the doctors, asking what was wrong.

“Mo...mo...mo....” The doctor took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and once he had calmed down enough to speak coherently, he screamed at the top of his lungs, “MONSTERS!” arms flailing in the general direction of the ER, before he took off in the opposite direction.

The scream had a predictable effect on everybody around them, and they too started screaming, before the mob finally managed to agree on a direction, and moved towards the entrance.

“Giles,” Xander yelled over the ruckus, “See if you can get to Buffy, and check up on her, I’ll go se what this is about.”

Giles nodded and headed towards the information desk, while Xander and the SG-2 team headed towards the ER to see what was causing the panic.

He hadn’t even entered the area, when he got his first clue.

“Calm down, you little frellnik!”

He stormed forward, fast, and pulled curtains aside to find the source. He finally found a sight he had not expected, though considering the costumes unaccounted for, he shouldn’t have been too surprised.

“Chiana?” he asked, incredulous, while looking at the grey beauty in front of him, though the face was... “Harmony?? Is that you?”

“Of course it is.” she snapped back. The voice was Harmony, but the speech pattern was not, it was unmistakably Chiana’s.

He managed to take his gaze off her, and finally noticed the rest of the group she was with. Given the available costumes, this was a royal flush. They were all here, including what looked like the love child of Rygel and a human, withering in pain on the bed.

“Please talk to me. You all went as these costumes, and...then what?”

“I went as Chiana,” Harmony snapped back, “and after all the weird dren had passed, I returned to normal, or so I thought. Slowly, as we partied on, I started to feel...different.”

“Same here,” came the chorus.

“Ok, ok. introductions for everyone. Please.” Xander interrupted.

They did, and Jack’s eyebrows followed Teal’c’s when Harmony introduced herself as a Kendall.

“So you all bought your costumes at Ethans, but I thought PartyTown was the place of choice for your group, Harmony. At least according to Cordelia.”

“As if! Ethans had all the good stuff this year,” Aura snapped back, “though now I’m not so sure about that,” she let her stiletto snap out of her wrist and back in a few times.

“So what are you all doing here? I assume you didn’t all go to the same party?” Xander had to ask.

“I came because I couldn't get these things off,” Larry exclaimed, as he pulled his tentacles...things on his head.

“Same with me, really, the paint won’t come off. Aura came with Larry and me, to help out.” Harmony explained.

“What about you, Jono?”

“I had to help Andrew here,” he explained, “I ran into Amy along the way, she had been hit by a flying tombstone earlier, and wanted to have her arm looked at. We talked and realized that we were in the same predicament.”

“One moment,” Xander said after having thought the information over.

*Dawn, are you there?*

*I am. Where else would I be?*

*Be nice. Please.* He admonished her, lightly, *How much room do you have on board?*

*I can only count about twelve rooms, two tiers, three rooms on each side. A fourth is growing nicely it seems, why?*

*Some were affected by their costumes a little more than we thought.* Xander quickly described the ensemble in front of him.

*That won’t be fun,* was all she could comment on that. *Willow says ‘hi’ by the way, you seem to have forgotten her at some point*

*Willow? Damn, we really have to fix that problem, later. Tell her I’m sorry, I have to go, take care.*

“Sorry, I had to talk to Dawn, make sure she had enough room for us all.”

“Dawn?” Jonathan asked.

“She dressed as Talyn, it stuck.” Xander winched. He looked around at the people in the room, “The only one I see missing here is Zhaan. And I hope Scorpius remains missing, if it’s all the same to you.”

“I’m here,” came the reply from further down the ER ward.


	16. Chapter 16

## Chapter 16

“Zhaan?” Xander asked. The voice certainly sounded feminine.

Harmony’s exclamation was a little more surprising, “Mom?” She marched forward, and pulled the curtains aside, to find her parents, her mother getting out of her coat, and sitting down on the bed.

“Harmony? What happened to you?” her mother exclaimed.

“The same thing that happened to you. But, but, you are … blue!”

Xander and his growing entourage was moving up to the bed where Mrs. Kendall was now sitting.

She took them all in. “The evening wasn’t easy on any of us, was it? We even have to take a detour to get to the rear entrance to the hospital, the front looked like someone dropped a bomb there.”

“Or a space ship.” Jack quipped.

She looked at Jack, “What did you dress up as?”

“We didn’t, we arrived after the fun was over.” Jack just couldn’t take his eyes off the very blue woman in front of him.

“Larry, dear,” Mrs. Kendall suddenly exclaimed, “Please stop fondling those, it is not becoming for a Luxan to touch himself that way in public.”

She blinked, then looked back at Mr. Kendall, “How did I know that?”

“It seems we all retained something of the costumes. Some more than others, really,” Xander explained.

“So we have all of Moya’s crew and friends here, more or less?” She asked. “Bialar Crais, I presume, with the ponytail and uniform,” She nodded at Xander. He nodded the confirmation back, “Larry being D’Argo, Harmony, are you really Chiana now?”

“I’m afraid so. I even lost three cup sizes,” she exclaimed un-happily.

“Then we have … Aeryn, and John,” she nodded at Amy and Jonathan. “But you don’t seem familiar, Aura.”

“I went as Jenavian Charto,” she replied, demonstrating by letting her stiletto slide out of her wrist. A Peacekeeper disruptor. A nice name for undercover agent and assassin.

MRs Kendall smiled, “At least no one dressed as Rygel,” she stopped at the snicker from her daughter. “Someone did?”

“Andrew Wells. He’s apparently still shrinking,” Harmony said, with as much tact as she had ever had; None at all.

Then Mrs. Kendall shocked them all. “I just hope that insufferable toad of a principal, didn’t retain his Scorpius costume. In my opinion he should have taken the Quark costume instead. A much better fit.”

“D....Did you say Scorpius?” Xander stammered.

“I’m afraid so, I saw him buy it at Ethans when I went to get this one. Did anyone else retain their costumes? Or is it just these Farscape themes ones that are affected this way?”

“From what I remember, and certainly afterwards, the kids in various monster costumes all returned to normal,” Jonathan answered. “Why are you smiling like that, Xander?”

“Oh, I was just thinking about Buffy and Willow. They too seem to have retained something, though nothing as drastic as this.”

“They dressed as a ghost and some noble woman, right?” Jonathan asked.

“They did. And we’ve had a lot of trouble remembering Willow, even when she’s in the room, as if we keep not noticing her, except if we look right at her. And Buffy has developed an unhealthy fascination for frying pans as blunt weapons.”

“And I went as Commandant Mele-On Grayza,” came Joyce’s voice from the entrance. So I wasn’t the only one to retain aspects of my costume, it seems.”

“Looks like it. Did anyone notice Farscape costumes we haven't seen here, apart from the Scorpius one you saw Snyder buy?” Xander said, nodding at Mrs. Kendall as he mentioned Snyder.

“I think I saw the Jool and Sikozu costumes, but Jonathan wouldn’t let me have them,” Andrew stammered from his bed behind them. Then he snapped his mouth shut, as he realized what he had just said.

“Willow should have gone as either of those two, it would have been a perfect fit, but they weren’t there when I got my own costume. So I wonder who got those.” Xander said, mostly to himself, when there was some noise coming from the hall outside the ER.

“I’ll check what’s going on,” Joyce said, before leaving the ER.

She came rushing back not five seconds later, “Xander, please tell Dawn not to land the pods outside. People are panicking,” she yelled on her way in.

*Dawn, please, use the roof*

*Oh, ok, I didn't’ think of that. What should I do with the helicopters there?* Dawn replied sarcastically.

*One moment.*

“She can’t land on the roof Mrs. S, their helicopters are using it,” Xander explained.

“Give me a minute,” she replied, and rushed back out.

It took a few minutes, before she came back in, “Tell her to land in the parking lot, there is nothing left for her to ruin there after all.”

*Dawn, you heard your mother?*

*I did, landing them now.*

“If I may, I’d like to suggest that we all leave for Dawn now, before the army starts taking too much interest in what we are doing here. I’ve seen enough alien invasion conspiracy theories to think they’ll just want to talk.” Xander explained.

He turned towards Joyce, “Where is Buffy?”

“She’s coming down now. Nothing broken that they could tell, just a little blood loss, and a minor concussion. The doctors wanted her to stay till tomorrow, but you know how she hates hospitals.”

“I certainly do.” Xander replied, looking behind Joyce, as Buffy limped into view.

“Oh, goody, if it isn’t the entire peanut gallery. Who are we missing?” Buffy quipped.

“At least two more, and we should probably see if we can’t find those, they look alien enough that they can’t really show themselves in public.” Xander answered, “And we forgot Willow. Again.”

“Where is she?”

“With Dawn. I see you found another one.” Xander looked at her new frying pan. “Where did you get it?”

“I can’t remember,” she replied. “I just seem to find them lying around.” she replied happily, while making a few wide test swings with the new one.

Jack looked at her, apprehensively, he had already seen, or rather felt what she could do with one of those.

*Xander! There are some military looking vehicles approaching the hospital.* Dawn suddenly warned him.

“Alright, everybody who’s no longer human, and those following them, please let us leave here asap, I’m not about to test the Army’s hospitality towards aliens,” Xander bellowed at the top of his lungs.

The last part set off a new round of panic attack among the Sunnydale citizens in the hallway.

They quickly managed to get to the parking lot, and enter the pods, which took off immediately, on their own, once they were full. Luckily the Army hadn’t had time to set up their tanks or whatever they would have used to shoot at them with, and they managed to leave the atmosphere unmolested.

Once in space, they were greeted with the majestic shape of Dawn, approaching them, with the Mir station flying away from them.

*Dawn, what did you do?*

*I just wanted to apologize. but they just kept yelling at me in Russian. They didn’t sound happy.*

*Please try not to agitate the locals any further.* Xander sent back exasperated. *Please have a DRD with translator microbes ready when we land, I’ll see if I can figure out what they are saying.*

* * *

Once they had landed, Xander immediately made his way to the bridge, and accepted the jab in the foot by the DRD, injecting him.

“What did it do?” Jack asked, while Daniel just looked at it longingly, for a linguist the microbes could be a mixed blessing. You couldn’t learn new languages, if you couldn’t hear them natively.

“Translator Microbes,” Xander answered quickly, before telling Dawn to open a channel to Mir.

He was immediately greeted with very colourful language. “They are certainly unhappy about you Dawn.” he listened a little longer, “Oh, now they are just making up new words!” he exclaimed, “Can they do that?” he looked at Daniel.

Daniel didn’t have time to react, or answer before Xander paled to a pasty, white colour, and desperately yelled, “DAWN! Shut it off! Please, just shut it off!”

Jack and the others who had joined them in the small bridge just looked at him.

“Where the hell do the Russians find their astronauts?” Xander asked, clearly shaken to his core. “The Old Sailor’s Profanity Club in Moscow?”


	17. Chapter 17

## Chapter 17

“So Jack, what exactly is it you do, that you and your team are so unfazed about suddenly being in space, orbiting the moon?” Xander asked, after having recovered from the verbal abuse, still streaming from Mir.

“First I want to know how you are suddenly able to understand them,” came the reply.

“That was just translator microbes, if you had seen the TV series, you’d have known about those. They’ll allow you to understand any spoken language.” Xander looked at him, then smirked. “Would you like some?”

Jack was taken aback by the offer. The ability to understand any language was not to to be scoffed at. Eventually he decided to take the chance, and nodded.

He yelped, manly, in surprise at the brief pain in his foot, as one of the DRD’s had snuck up on him.

Xander went to one of the wall cabinets and picked up a pair of headphones, and put them on. “Let’s test this,” he said, just before telling Dawn to open the link to Mir.

At first Jack looked confused, then slowly his expression changed to wonder, then fascination, soon to be replaced by horror.

Xander had Dawn shut off the link at this time, having proven that the microbes did work as intended. He took off the headphones, smiling at Jack, who was just doing a fish impersonation for a few minutes.

“They certainly are... inventive, aren’t they?” Jack finally asked.

“They are.” Xander answered, before looking around. “Where did Daniel go?”

“He speaks Russian, that might have something to do with it.” Jack replied.

“Oh. I probably should have warned him then.” Xander’s expression told everyone in the room, that he would never do such a thing.

*Xander, General Hammond is back.* Dawn interrupted him.

“Jack, do you know a General George Hammond of the SGC?”

“I do.”

“Dawn, please put him on speakers.”

[...stop antagonizing the Mir Cosmonauts. I repeat, This is General George Hammond of the SGC]

“Can he hear me?” Jack asked.

[Colonel, is that you?]

“General. Nice of you to call, how can I help you?” Jack replied.

[What on Earth are you doing, shouldn’t you be in Sunnydale?] The general’s irritation was almost palpable.

“I’m sorry, sir, We kinda hitched a ride when the ship and it’s... friends started to draw too much attention.”

[Jack, please tell them to stop antagonizing the Mir cosmonauts, we’ve run out of translators down here. And the last we heard from the Russians, was that their mission control were running out of Vodka for their communications specialists.]

“Dawn, did you hear that? Please stop antagonizing Mir any more.”

*Ok, ok. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to shoot them.* She replied, patching her voice through the speakers as well.

“General, this is Xander... Crais speaking. What exactly is ‘The SGC’?”

[It’s just SGC, we are a part of NORAD, and are monitoring space.] Hammons replied.

“That explains very little, you know that?” Xander commented.

[It does?]

“It does. Monitoring and expecting something to be there to talk to, are two different things, aren’t it?”

“I think I’ll have to get back to you on that one,” Jack finally decided that the questions had started to get too close for comfort.

[I agree, we need to talk about that later. First I would like to know what you were doing in Sunnydale. The reports we’ve been getting suggest that most of the town is just about destroyed.]

*Only the Sunnydale Mall, the town hall’s hall, the warehouses, the High School and the harbor,* Dawn replied defensively.

[And two cemeteries, the hospital, and the statue of Mayor Wilkins the First.] Hammond added, [adding Mir, and a yet unknown satellite. Need I go on?]

*I said I was sorry,* Dawn replied.

[The worst of your damage was probably underground though.]

“Sorry, sir, underground?” Xander asked. That was news to him.

[The Army haven’t been too forthcoming with information, but the two incidents in the cemeteries and the one in the warehouse district apparently blew up most of the sewage and service tunnels in the town. The flooding of the harbour destroyed most of what remained,] Hammond explained.

Jack looked at Xander, raising an eyebrow, but holding off any comments, as the teen was doing what looked a lot like the Snoopy Dance.

[It is odd really. The early rescue personnel reports massive amounts of ash and dust, but no human remains down there, and the Army boy’s were almost exalted, some apparently even started dancing when they were told.]

“Much like Xander is doing now, sir?” Jack asked.

[How is he dancing?]

“It looks a little like the Snoopy Dance, sir. If it was performed by an uncoordinated teenager, having an epileptic seizure.” Jack explained.

[Add full riot gear, and you are about right, I think.] Hammond replied, humor evident.

“WHOA!” Jack suddenly exclaimed, as the horizon started flipping around, and the artificial gravity struggled to keep up.

Dawn had decided to join Xander in his celebration dance.

Jack was too busy to hold onto anything at hand, to hear Hammond’s worried questions about what was going on.

“ ** _STOP!_** ” Jack suddenly bellowed.

Dawn stabilized her orbit, and Xander, who mysteriously hadn’t missed a single step, froze.

“Thanks,” Jack panted, looking at Xander. “Is this ship _insane?_ ”

Xander finally caught up, helped by Dawn’s quick apology over the link. “Not really, she’s just a twelve year old Californian girl.”

Jack glared at him, “You are kidding me, right?”

“No, I’m really not. Let me explain, briefly.” Xander quickly went through the events of the past few days, and added a little of the town history with vampires.

[I guess that explains the Army boy’s reaction.]

*Xander?* Dawn interrupted.

“Yes Dawn,” he answered out loud.

*I think I found something odd.*

“Please define ‘odd’.”

*Would a golden pyramid floating in space qualify?*

Xander looked at Jack. “Does that mean anything to you?” he asked.

“Oh, for crying out loud,” Jack exclaimed, before turning to the door, bellowing loudly down the corridor, “Carter, Daniel and Teal’c, get up here right away.”

*I think that means yes,* Dawn remarked, helpfully.

“No shit. But what? And where is it?”

*Trying to sneak up on us, I think. It’s between Earth and Mars. Approaching slowly.*

“Try and behave casually, Dawn, I’d like to know more before we attract its attention,” Xander suggested.

Xander was looking out the view port, at the lunar surface when he said this, and almost immediately the horizon started to slowly roll gently from side to side, while he heard a badly off tune whistled tune from the ships walls.

“Dawn, swaggering and whistling a dainty tune is _not_ casual, not even if you weren’t a spaceship,” he admonished her, quietly.

*Sorry.*

“That’s ok, Dawnie. Just don’t take your cues for casual and covert behaviour from Tom and Jerry, or Disney any more, please,” Xander replied, smiling,

“Where is the pyramid?” Jack asked from the entrance, as his team joined them on the bridge.

“Between Earth and Mars,” Xander repeated Dawn’s explanation. “You know what it is?”

“It is most likely a Goa’uld Ha’tak cruiser.” the tall guy replied. ‘Teal’c’ Xander reminded himself.

“Bad news I take it?”

“Almost certainly, can we talk to them? I’d rather not have them too close to Earth.”

“Fair enough,” Xander answered, “Dawn, please move a little closer, but keep an eye out for trouble.”

She did a U-turn, and started to fly towards the location of the unknown ship. Once in visual range, they could only look at the thing in wonder. It looked stupid. Bright golden colour, far too easy to see against the blackness of space.

“Dawn, please open a channel, and see if you can get their attention.”

They were greeted by the chirp from the communicator, signalling an open channel, followed by a bright blast of light streaming towards the pyramid shaped ship.

“Ehrm, Dawn.” Xander asked.

*Yes Xander?* came the sugar sweet reply. It almost made his teeth ache.

“What did I tell you to do?”

*To get their attention?* she asked.

Xander was fuming, making sure his displeasure was radiating clear across his link.

*What? I did get their attention, didn’t I? Don’t blame me for this!*

“Dawn, you BLEW UP half their ship!” Xander almost screamed.

*But you have their attention, and it’s not _my_ fault their armor sucks...* she tried to defend herself, when they were interrupted.

[This is your god As, you are in my territory, now bow before your god, and you may live.] came the reply from the remaining half of the ship.

“Pretentious fellow, isn’t he,” Xander asked no one in particular. “We just blew up half his ship, and he still acts as if he has the upper hand.”

Jack didn’t answer. He could only stare at the carnage in awe. This little ship had just taken out a Goa’uld mothership, with a single shot.


	18. Chapter 18

## Chapter 18

 **Note:** This Chapter will not as funny as the rest, I’ll get back there, there are just a few threads that needs to be tied up, before the slapstick can commence.

“Please open a channel, Dawn,” Xander asked.

*It’s already open, has been since... you know.*

Xander winced. That meant that the Goa’uld As had heard his truthful, but unflattering statement earlier.

“As. Is that really your name?” Xander asked.

[I am the god As, you will bow before me, or you will be destroyed.] came the firm demand from the Goa’uld.

“Ok, so you are pretentious and stupid then. Thanks for settling that.” Xander replied. He turned to Jack, who was still standing next to him. “Are they all like that?”

“We haven’t really met that many of them, but he’s pretty much par for the course.” Jack replied.

Xander nodded, and turned towards the screen, even if As couldn’t see them. “As, I’m pretty sure your instruments, or whatever you have over there is telling you that you are short about half a ship by now. Do you really think this is a fight you can win?”

...

Xander frowned, looked briefly at Jack, who only responded by shrugging.

“As, do respond, or we’ll have no option but to shoot again. This time it won’t be a warning shot.” Xander demanded, more firmly this time.

...

“Dawn, you can fire whenever you like.”

*Thanks.* came the almost happy reply from the ship, before another blinding flash of light streaked towards the remains of the ship, floating in space before them.

Xander just stared in shock, as did the SG-1 team and everybody else who had started to fill into the small bridge.

“You missed?”, Xander muttered, then louder, “How on Earth could you miss?”

He didn’t have time to launch into a tirade, as a fireball blossomed, far away from the wreck, He received a distinct smug feeling over his link.

“So, you didn’t miss? What did you hit?”

*I have no idea, all I know was that something the size of a shuttle left the wreck just before As went silent. It was hard to track, light bending around it, as if it was cloaked.* she explained. *But to quote Star Trek, ‘All ships must have an exhaust pipe’.*

Xander was now positively beaming with pride. “Not bad, Dawn. Not bad at all.”

“Careful, Xander,” came Buffy’s reply from the rear of the bridge. “You don’t need to stroke her ego that much.”

Xander turned around and looked at Buffy. “She did well, for once. I doubt that it’ll hurt. Besides, talking about ego’s, when did you have time to get your hair extended and dyed?”

Buffy looked at him, confused. Then she grabbed a strand of the hair, and looked at it, before running back towards the medical, yelling.

“Nice way of getting rid of her, kid.” Jack exclaimed. He still didn’t like her much, she always had that damned frying pan in her hands, evoking bad memories.

“I didn’t try to, her hair is getting longer, and blonder, if that last bit was even possible.”

“Another delayed Halloween thing?” Jack asked.

“We have to talk to Giles about that. First though, we need Daniel to talk to this ship, in case the ones left over there don’t speak English, then to talk to the cosmonauts on board Mir.”

“Can’t I do that?” Jack asked. “You know, with the translator microbes?”

“No, they only work one-way. We need someone who speaks Russian, natively.”

“Why?”

“As agitated as they are, we did damage the station severely, by accident, but that doesn’t change the fact that it is our fault,” Xander started to explain. “I just want to make sure they aren’t in any danger, and have what they need to restore some normalcy.”

“Fair enough point, I guess.”

*Xander, Hammond is still on hold.* Dawn interrupted.

“Can you patch it through to a different control station?”

*Sure, use the one in the rear of the bridge.*

“Thanks,” Xander replied. “Ok, please listen. We’ll get around to talk to you all shortly. But this is the bridge, and it is a little too crowded, so if I can get all of you to head back to the main areas, except for SG-1, Joyce and perhaps Buffy, if someone can find her.”

He turned to Jack, and pointed to the station in question, “You can talk to Hammond on that one, please fill him in as best as you can. You know almost as much as we do by now.”

“Thanks,” Jack replied, before picking up what appeared to be a headset, and started talking.

“Joyce and Daniel,” Xander looked at them both. “Please start talking to the wreck over there, we really need to make sure we know what kind of help they need, or if they are even contemplating receiving it.”

They both nodded in return, and Xander turned to Carter and Teal’c. “I guess you would be best suited to help Daniel talk to that ship.”

Teal’c nodded, and walked over to Daniel.

“And Carter, you are the tech wiz, if I understand it right?”

“I am.”

“Once Jack is done talking to Hammond, maybe see if you can get them to asses what, if any, emergency supplies they need, not only on the Ha’tak, but also on Mir.”

Carter nodded, but before stepping over to Jack, she asked, “What about you?”

“They don’t ever show that on the series, but this ship actually do have  a refresher, and I really need to use it. Now, if you’ll please excuse me for a moment,” he answered, before moving past Carter, and ran down the corridor.

“Refresher?” Carther muttered.

*He meant a toilet.* Dawn replied, startling Carter.

* * *

Xander returned to the bridge, and took interest in the dialogue on the view screen. Apparently Samantha had managed to activate the camera for the two way video link. The Jaffa on the screen was every bit as defiant as his now dead master.

He stayed in the background, letting Daniel and Teal’c handle the negotiations. Looking over his shoulder at the other half of the SG-1 team, there were no doubt that Jack and Sam were still talking to their superiors back home. Tempted as he was at listening in, he decided that they’d be better off being left alone, for now.

A red flashing panel drew his attention to the console he was standing at.

*Dawn,* he thought over the link.

*I see them. What do you want me to do?*

*They do seem to be flying in a formation, heading this way, don’t they?*

*Even the big one is, I wonder why they didn’t come out before?*

*You did blow up most of their ship, maybe they needed the time to open their doors*

*I said I was sorry...* Dawn replied.

*Don’t worry about it. But I think you might want to start swatting the flies.*

Meanwhile Xander moved forward, into view of the camera, and all but growled. “Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie?”

Moments later, when he was sure he had everyone's attention, “Or are you gonna bite?”

“Dawn, fire away.”

*Thanks.* Dawn replied promptly, and started to move.

The Jaffa on the screen took a step back in panic, finally realizing that in this fight, he was definitely not the Alpha.


End file.
